


Of Fate and Time

by eternal_sonnet



Category: Trying Human
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Dissociation, F/M, Headcanons & Theories, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternal_sonnet/pseuds/eternal_sonnet
Summary: A story written in a non-linear narrative, mostly about what Phillis might be dreaming of when she is asleep and inspired by the scene where she appears as a puppet in Rose's dream. Also Alternate Universe where Rose doesn't get her memories back for a longer amount of time after the events of Chapter 17.
Relationships: Hue/Rose Williams
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Of Fate and Time

She didn’t flinch when the gun was fired, didn’t turn away when the reptoid fell, blood pouring from the wound on his chest as the man who shot him tried to steady his panicked breathing. She knew what was going to happen before the ship landed on the opening, before the events unfolded one by one and same decisions were made again and again. 

Had she seen this before? It was getting hard to remember seeing every piece of the puzzle by itself after seeing the big picture in all its cosmic glory.

The feeling of weightlessness returned as the fog started to set in her mind, begging her to go back to the hollow comfort of the darkness, of rest. It was getting harder to see what was happening now, hear what was being spoken. 

Turning away from the scene she dug her fingers through the fabric of her shirt, pressing her palm where her own wound was supposed to be with all the force she could muster but couldn’t feel the twinge of pain she was expecting to, no warmth came from the flesh that was under the fabric and the steady rhythm of her heart beat, which she was sure of, wasn’t there. Her eyelids were growing heavier with every passing second.

It was getting hard to remember what it had been like to live.

\---

Rose sat up on the examination table, squinting her eyes against the bright light. She started to get off the table but pulled herself back up quickly with a surprised gasp when she realised that there was no sign of the ground underneath her red high heels, the table being way too high and the ground too far away. She gripped the edges of the table and leaned forward to try to see if anything was down there but there seemed to be only darkness.

"You don't want to fall down."

She turned around to see Phillis sitting on the other side, facing away from her. She looked around to see if there was anyone else that might have seen her, but couldn't see anything other than the white walls and the bright light.

“This is a dream, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

There was a moment of silence as she touched the petals of her corsage, trying to put her thoughts together.

“I don’t know what to do. Roger is being very insistent and…” she closed her eyes for a moment and then waved her hand in the air. “You already know what happened, don't you?”

“You are already so close. He will lead you where I am if you decide to follow. Come to fifty-one and save me from where I am frozen in time.”

She sighed in frustration. “It never was as easy as you said it was.”

“Trust me. It never is. It wasn’t for me." she gripped the edges of the table. “I can’t stay with you forever. Sooner or later I am going to have to leave and you will be the one that will stay."

Rose rolled her eyes and swung her legs over the table in frustration. “I don’t know what you are talking about, I never knew what you were-" she started but stopped when she felt a sudden movement behind herself. She turned around quickly but could only catch a glimpse of the top of her garrison's cap and her blonde hair as she disappeared down into the darkness. 

\---

Phillis kept her gaze on the empty wall even when the door handle moved down slowly and the door was pushed open despite the loud protests of the hinges just enough for a person to fit through.

“Phillis?” Walter whispered, looking in from the door frame.

She kept staring ahead, seemingly unaware of his presence.

“Hey.” he came closer to her, turning around to check behind him every few steps.

After all these years this was his second time coming to see her. He had visited her only once, not long after she came back from the dead (he didn’t know whether she was alive or not, but knew that at one point she had been dead, he was sure of it) to see if she was still...well, if she was still Phillis only to find that the woman in front of him was anyone but. It had scared him, how different she looked and how calm she was, floating gently in the liquid as if she had always been doing it. He had thought to himself that he would have gone against the doctor and saved her only if he could think of a plan to leave the base, only if she had acted in a way he could predict, only if he had a chance, no matter how small.

Yet she never mentioned anything about the situation she was in and after that he never came down to see her again except for a few times when Glasner called him down when there was no need for him to be called down and watched his discomfort under the green light, under her gaze, with a mixture of grim amusement and fascination.

Now he stood in front of her, looking at her face for the first time in all these years, his own pale but unchanging one illuminated by the green light, his fingers lightly touching the glass.

“I...I will be leaving soon. Had enough of the whole...you know, alien business.” he waited for a some sort of reply but then cleared his throat, uncertain, before continuing. “It's really odd, isn’t it? We weren’t even supposed to get involved in it from the beginning and look where it led us now.”

Silence.

“Not that I regret working with you or anything. That- that was the best part until...you know." He looked up to see if her eyes were still open, if perhaps she had fallen asleep. "Whatever, I hope…” he started out but stopped before he could tell her that he hoped for the best. What would the best even mean to a dead woman, what could he tell her about fate and luck that she didn’t know already? They were both different people now, different in two very different ways, and he didn’t know how to say goodbye in a way that would be enough, that would allow him to leave and live the rest of his life without the shadow of the woman he once admired and the woman he once killed hanging over his entire life. Instead, unable to find the right words, he touched the glass again with the tips of his fingers before walking towards the door, stopping to turn around and look at her only once.

“Well, goodbye Phillis.”

\---

The realisation that this was not one of her dreams came shortly after the realisation that this was a dream. Hers were never this vivid, never this clear, not about anything in particular other than flashes of sensations she had missed; the crisp early morning breeze or the smell of the church candles and then nothing distinguishable, barely reflections on muddy water.

In this one the sky above her was such a vivid shade of red that looking at it was almost impossible, the heat insufferable and the undertones of the dream nearly too synthetic to be human if it wasn’t for the emotions, the terror, the confusion and the understanding that made the dream what it was. She raised her hand and saw that the hand was too slender, too pale to be her own.

Hue she though but no answer came. She wondered why he knew about it now, after all this time of being kept away from it. She could feel the terror heightening as the nightmare went on, the blurred figures disappearing as the heat increased and the hole in the sky became the focus. She stared at it in a certain type of fascination she hasn’t felt in years, and then forced herself to look down. 

Hue she thought again, hoping that maybe that would wake him up. No answer came. She tried to open her mouth to shout or to say anything at all but her lips wouldn’t open. It was as if there was not enough air or force left in her for her to be able to say anything at all.

Hue! 

She opened her eyes suddenly, startled by the sound of the door hitting the wall with great force as it was kicked open. She could see Roger standing in front of the door frame, swearing at the greys and their telekinesis, blistered burn marks covering half of his face and spilling down to his neck.

“...I will bring her here, if that will keep her safe from-” he stopped, trying to see where Glasner was as his eyes adjusted to the dark. She could hear the rhythmic sound of high heels coming towards them but he seemed to ignore it.

“Doctor?”

Eight reached the door just before he rushed out, realising that the doctor wasn’t in the room. She was about to leave after Roger when she suddenly stopped, one hand over the door frame. Feeling her gaze on her, Phillis looked up and their eyes met for a moment before Eight swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry, and went back to running after him.

Phillis closed her eyes.

\----

Clad in her new dress, with the fitted ribbon sash around her waist, the skirt flowing as she walked and opening in a perfect full circle when she danced, Rose glowed under the colourful lights of the club. 

"Is everything alright?" she said, trying to talk over the music. "You seemed lost in thoughts for a second." 

"Oh yeah. Nothing important, just something that happened at work?"

She nodded and smiled, twirling around once before wrapping her arms around his neck as he held onto her waist, her luscious red hair spilling down her shoulders. Despite the way she glowed under the lights and laughed and danced in a carefree manner, Roger couldn't help but feel the fear bubbling inside him like water slowly getting closer to its boiling point, threatening to make him say or, even worse, do something to fight against it, to reach certainty or at least safety and stay there until it all went away.

What would he tell her, if she suddenly remembered everything that had happened? Or what if they never stopped coming after her? Would she choose him over them if she was given a chance?

Of course she would, he thought, and forced the thought away from his mind. They had so many memories together, so many things they shared. Of course she would. 

"Would you like-"

"What?"

"Would you like a drink?"

Rose nodded and allowed him to walk her over to a bar stool. She sat down and enjoyed the relief her high heel clad feet felt to be taken off the ground. 

"It is good, you know, the fact that you can take a few days off work from time to time. We should do this more often."

She smiled but he didn't return it.

"You don't understand. I need to work harder to support both of us now."

She looked away, uncertain of the tone of his voice and the implication behind it. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with a finger, already feeling bad for getting angry over nothing.

Later that night he lied awake next to her in bed as she slept, listening to the sound of the rain as it hit the windowpane. Next to him on the nightstand the electronic clock was steadily changing, time for him to go to work starting to get closer and closer. He was reluctant to go back to work, not because he would have to explain his absence to his colleagues but because leaving her to go to work would be leaving her to them, leaving her to get brainwashed and get tricked into leaving safety, leaving her life, leaving him.

\----

Floating in the cold isn’t as foreign as it used to anymore. She wakes up to it without being surprised by the way it chills her bones; this is how she knows that a considerable amount of time has passed since she was put in this state even though there is no way for her to know how long that is. She opens her eyes partially, her eyelids too heavy for her to open them all the way. She can make out the blurry vision of the doctor sitting in front of a pile of books, the soft sound of paper being turned every now and then being the only sound in the room.

“I see that you are awake.”

She tries to open her mouth, but the effort of it is tremendous and she gives up halfway through.

“Hopefully you are feeling better today. Yesterday you created such a hassle, dear.”

With every movement of her hands she can feel the tips of her fingers dissolving in the green liquid, the numbness slowly moving towards the rest of her arm. She wonders if she is actually awake or if one side of her mind had already started dreaming, separate from the side which was only barely awake.

“Are you feeling like talking more about it today? About what you see?”

One hand reaches behind her head, where the black plastic is lodged in. She presses her hand over the tube as hard as she can in her sleepy haze but can’t feel it no matter how much pressure she applies. She is scared, for the first time in a while, of disappearing.

"No. Phillis, no."

The hand drops. A chair scrapes on the floor and his cane hits the ground softly as he shuffles closer to her but she can’t make herself make sense of the sounds. They sound too far away to be important and now she is sitting across Walter, both of them pretending to be in an actual diner, one that is as far away from the base as it can be. She laughs at a story he is telling and raises a finger to wipe her tearing eyes when she notices the night sky with the corner of her eye. They share a moment of silence, and Phillis finds herself absentmindedly looking out of the window, to the empty sky and the lights that surround them, wondering about how bright the stars must look far away from the base and its lights. Walter clears his throat gently before speaking.

“So, would you like to dance?”

“Why, I thought you were never going to ask.” she says, smiling as she holds his hand and allows him to lead her to the opening where they start to move and spin under the colourful lights of-

"It is for your own good, you know."

Walter's face melts away and when she looks at where she thinks the voice is coming from, all she can see is a pair of dark lenses looking back at her. He keeps on talking about safety and the unknown and the protocol, but his voice starts fading as the fog starts to set in her mind. 

She struggles against it, trying to focus on her own thought process to stop it from taking her away. When that starts to fade as well she turns her attention to the cold that must be surrounding her but the numbness has spread to the entirety of her body, separating her from the outside world completely. She gives into it. There is something comforting in the dark, even if it is lonely, and she knows she will wake up sooner or later. 

She doesn't flinch as the gun is fired, doesn't look away as the reptoid falls, blood pouring from the wound on his chest.

\---

At the end, Rose was the one who did it. That’s how she knew that she had tied it all very well, with double knots and no loose ends remaining, not changing fate itself but highlighting certain choices more than the others.

There was no intake of breath when she came in contact with air for the first time in years, nor was there any sense of fear building up in her. She wasn't scared as she had been once, a long time ago, when EBE-1 called her to his cell for the first time, when she was standing on the cold floor in her stockings and holding her hairbrush in her trembling hand. Nor was she as scared as she had been when she felt herself slipping deep into the dying star, feeling the fading pulse of it inside her own chest, losing herself in the heavy darkness and waking up to find herself cold and imprisoned, but still alive. She could hear a strange melody, muffled as if it was from a source so distant, accompanied by the colourful flash of a light or two.

No sound would come from her parched throat, nor did her wound, which had eaten away more of her chest than she thought it did hurt, but as she raised her head to see the one who have imprisoned her and the one that saved, took her first step towards the room she had been in for years, she pressed her hand to where her heart once was and for a moment, just for a split second, she was sure that she could feel the gentle beat beneath the cold palm of her hand.

\---

She remembers how she used to do it before. It doesn’t make sense for it to be that simple, but she has learned not to trust her senses a long time ago.

A long time ago, when she was young and scared of never being able to find her way back she would find a tree, a big grounded one that can be easily distinguishable from the rest if you looked for it, and then she would tie a string around it, right in the middle of where the bark has started to flake away and peel.

It had to be a strong string, and quite a long one if you were planning on wandering away into places you shouldn't be wandering into, but if it holds up-

If only it holds up-

Then it might just be able to stop her from falling down into the waves of darkness over and over again just to wake up, startled and confused, under the bright lights of life.

\---

Rose didn't think of anything in particular as she walked hand in hand with Hue, didn't look back at the base where once a woman lived, died and came back because of all the things that wouldn't let go of her. It had all been too much for her, to learn everything she learned and to get involved in all these things that she had no other choice but to get involved in. She was hurt and tired, very tired.

Hue clasped her hand tighter, a look of worry passing over his human features. He was more relieved than worried of the future that awaited them. It was nice to be able to think of a time where they were together, nice to be able to imagine things that he knew he had the power to turn into reality. It was a new feeling and the possibilities were endless. However Rose has been quiet in a way that scared him, and he wondered if this has all hurt her more than she could handle right now.

Not being able to not do anything about it anymore, he slowly called out her name.

“Rose?”

She turned to look at him.

“Are you going to be alright?”

She smiled at him with all the tiredness of the events of the past few days evident on her face, on the bags under her eyes and the cracks in her lips.

“Definitely. I am just...I am really…” she sighed, closing her eyes that were burning with tears. “It’s finally over, Hue. I don’t even know what that means, I feel that there is still a lot of things we need to sort out and I don’t know where we will start.” He pulled her in an embrace and she let herself be completely surrounded by his warmth.

“Well, we can start by going home.”

She nodded into his chest and as they kept walking until the grey ship appeared overhead, as she walked into the maze of familiar white room and then through the busy streets that led to her apartment - how foreign it was now, how odd to be coming home and it feeling different to what it once was - she realised that for the first time in her life she was grounded into a reality that wouldn't let go of her easily and she was grateful for that.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year now, hopefully it made sense. ^^ 
> 
> Some parts of the fic might get edited later on. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
